I had been fantasizing about going overseas one day and living there. One of the reasons I moved to South Africa is that there seemed to be no many people from where I was from, namely Japan. I had never been overseas till mid 20’s when I finally set my food on African continent, which, for a Japanese, is rather unusual given they like travelling and taking photos.
I had read articles and watched clips of some TV Program over and over of people talking about how wonderful time they had and I indulged in daydreams. Oh how badly was I longing for crossing the ocean…
It’s not that it didn’t matter which country. It did. It had to be an English speaking country since learning the language was one of my prime reasons. I knew that the people in the articles and clips I kept at hand for indulgence did not represent the majority.
I heard so many stories of people who went overseas to learn a language, experience its culture, cross the frontiers or just look for something just to end up not doing so. After spending for a few months to a year or even two, they came back without having learnt the language and much difference in their outlook.
Why? Because they hung out with people who shared the same language and even maybe eating the same food, watching the same television and doing the same as back home. I am not saying it is wrong or anything It was just not for me. I am sure they had fun in their ways but to me it was a waste of time. I could not afford to go down that path.
Having said that, I am not sure if I could have resisted the temptation. It is likely I would have done the same if I had gone to a country like America, a city like Los Angeles where you could pick up Japanese take aways, dvds and books and bump into Japanese around each corner (I’ve never been there but I am sure I am not very wrong).
It seems hard to discipline youself and stick to the initial purposes you are after, when you don’t know the language, had no ideas how things work and start to feel lonely. And then there are waters you swam before, it is so easy to dive right in.
I knew that the last thing I wanted was go down the path. I did not quite know how not to fall victim to it but I just thought I could make a plan when I got there.
It was then that I stumbled upon South Africa. To be honest, I did not know anything about it and I did not even know the people spoke English in South Africa. I was still sceptical about it even when I touched down in Cape Town.
Now it has been 10 years and leaving Japan for South Africa was one of the best and boldest move I have taken. Not only is Cape Town pretty but also it made me expose to the local and help me acculturate so much. the progress, if any, would have been significantly slower if I had gone to America, England, Australia or one of those popular countries among Japanese.
It was by no means easy. I did study English but I could not speak or understand other people. It is insanely frustrating not to be able to express yourself. But I had to force myself into learning it as no one spoke Japanese.
If you speak the language, say, South Africans going to England, things seem to be a whole lot easier than Asians goings to England. Even so, I heard a lot of South Africans stick together in England despite the fact they have no problems in terms of communicating verbally.
It is totally understandable. They herd, share information, help each other because they feel more comfortable with things that are familiar. It would be even more so if you are sent there by your company for six months or a year when you did not wish. But what if you cross the border with burning passions for adventure of walking into the unknown and sucking the marrow, but find yourself struggling to communicate your way in.
I think it’s so easy to compromise and spend more and more time with your people. A funny thing is that those people are not even the type of people you normally hang out with back home but you still do. It is better than feeling isolated.
Luckily I did not have to succumb to that. I did not have a choice so I have to find a way to survive. It was, like I said, not easy. I actually don’t know how to avoid getting into the pattern. I am not even sure you can or should avoid entirely. It is good to share useful information among them on how to get around in a different country.
The more you are on your own the more you learn but tougher and the more at stake to emotionally burn out. The more you huddle the less you learn and miss out one of the most fantastically rewarding experiences, worse and this is more likely you learn little and worst you become ethnocentric.
What do you think about huddling with whom you share the same culture in a different country when you know you are there to learn and broaden your mind? I think one needs to somehow find the balance in between making the best of living overseas and still socialising with the same nationality. After a while you will learn more and gain more skills, eventually you drift away from them, or you might be with them if you will.
Tags: living overseas
